Quinn (they/them) reviewed Polysecure by Jessica Fern
Not just for polyam or romantic relationships
Probably the best book I’ve read on adult attachment theory so far and I would say this is a more universal read that the title might impress. Fern gives an astoundingly thorough, textured and accessible explanation of attachment styles, including societal and environmental influences, and gently side stepping the parent blame game. Fern also does an excellent job including connections vs attachments and secure base vs safe haven, breaking relation into chunks that you can then start to piece together for yourself. I think this book would be beneficial to anyone and everyone who wants to learn about attachment in adults, and how to nurture secure attachments with the people in their life, romantic/sexual or not. If I were to compare it to Attached (as many people do) I would say that this is a much more beautifully nuanced book that can give readers more practical tools to identify what …
Probably the best book I’ve read on adult attachment theory so far and I would say this is a more universal read that the title might impress. Fern gives an astoundingly thorough, textured and accessible explanation of attachment styles, including societal and environmental influences, and gently side stepping the parent blame game. Fern also does an excellent job including connections vs attachments and secure base vs safe haven, breaking relation into chunks that you can then start to piece together for yourself. I think this book would be beneficial to anyone and everyone who wants to learn about attachment in adults, and how to nurture secure attachments with the people in their life, romantic/sexual or not. If I were to compare it to Attached (as many people do) I would say that this is a much more beautifully nuanced book that can give readers more practical tools to identify what is askew in their relationship(s) to resolve the issues. Attached does a better job exploring the impressive studies showing how secure and insecure attachments affect us. In this same vein it drives home that not every person is compatible because of how their attachment mechanisms function.
