Review of "Marriage and lasting relationships with Asperger's syndrome (autism spectrum disorder)" on 'Goodreads'
2 stars
Better than other books I've read on this subject but that's not saying much. I am autistic and in a relationship with a neurotypical person. The intro to this book gave me hope, talking about ASD as autism spectrum differences. Unfortunately, though less so than other books, this one still has a lot of ableism and pathologizing in it. From apologizing without understanding what's wrong to talking to a doctor for medication to correct a low libido "problem" I found a significant portion of this book problematic. Perhaps best summarized with the quote "The truth is her partner with ASD can't just make changes by deciding to do so. Each day he has to work against his natural impulses, whilst exercising patience with his partner." Striving to deny my natural way of being in favor of performing neurotypicality is the essence of masking, and that's harmful in general and toxic …
Better than other books I've read on this subject but that's not saying much. I am autistic and in a relationship with a neurotypical person. The intro to this book gave me hope, talking about ASD as autism spectrum differences. Unfortunately, though less so than other books, this one still has a lot of ableism and pathologizing in it. From apologizing without understanding what's wrong to talking to a doctor for medication to correct a low libido "problem" I found a significant portion of this book problematic. Perhaps best summarized with the quote "The truth is her partner with ASD can't just make changes by deciding to do so. Each day he has to work against his natural impulses, whilst exercising patience with his partner." Striving to deny my natural way of being in favor of performing neurotypicality is the essence of masking, and that's harmful in general and toxic in a relationship like a marriage.
While a step above the typical asd relationship book, I sadly can't recommend this.